Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Today is "hug a Hispanic"
Today is "hug a Hispanic" day. So c'mon & gimme some love! i'll totally hug myself.
Monday, April 26, 2010
GLEE
Could you do me a favor and be awesome by voting for my Glee audition video?: http://www.myspace.com/gleeauditions?link=381318096
please love me and gimme a gold star. *batting eyelashes with big Anime eyes*
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
I am worried.
Last week I took Lily to the doctor thinking she had an urinary tract infection or a bladder infection. For the past couple of months she has been having problems wetting herself no matter how many times she went to the toilet. However, when they tested her urine everything came back negative for an infection. What didn't turn out so well was the fact that she had a lot of blood in her urine. Most women who are about to start their menstrual cycle don't come out with this amount of blood in the urine. The doctor believes it may be urinary reflux.
What is apparently not so rare with children her age is when the kidneys send urine to the bladder and the bladder regurgitates a bit of it back into the kidneys. The doctor says that if that is the case, it can easily be fixed with a bit of noninvasive surgery.
Last week I took Lily to the doctor thinking she had an urinary tract infection or a bladder infection. For the past couple of months she has been having problems wetting herself no matter how many times she went to the toilet. However, when they tested her urine everything came back negative for an infection. What didn't turn out so well was the fact that she had a lot of blood in her urine. Most women who are about to start their menstrual cycle don't come out with this amount of blood in the urine. The doctor believes it may be urinary reflux.
What is apparently not so rare with children her age is when the kidneys send urine to the bladder and the bladder regurgitates a bit of it back into the kidneys. The doctor says that if that is the case, it can easily be fixed with a bit of noninvasive surgery.
Friday, April 09, 2010
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Life in Bullet Points
- School is going good. I like the fact that I am only taking one class at a time. The due dates are the same every week. All discussions are due on Thursday, all quizzes are on Sunday, and you have to respond to everything by Monday.
- Week 3 started today in school. I currently have a 95% in my class.
- My cycle started on Sunday. I feel like I am dying.
- My everything hurts, I'm bleeding so much it's ridiculous, I really hate being female. I already have 3 kids; someone please remove my girl parts.
- Having behavior problems with Lily, but it's getting better.
- Trying to potty-train Iris.
- Rose loves me best. I think it's just because my boobs have milk for her.
- I have the curriculum for next year (home-schooling) set. Lily and Iris will be in 1st grade and preK at ages 4 and 2.
- My kids are full of awesome.
- J has been having anxiety attacks and sleep deprivation. He is now on Lexapro and Lunesta. He is feeling MUCH better.
- I somehow lost 10 lbs without noticing. Weird, considering I eat everything in sight.
- I'm still overweight and need to lose somewhere between 10 to 20lbs to be at a healthy level.
- I haven't been able to sleep for a long while.
- I don't know what I'm doing 90% of the time. I've BSed my homework in class, don't know where I put anything, and have been trying to organize my house unsuccessfully.
- I do everything with magic. That's the only way I can explain why my head hasn't exploded yet.
- My days start at 8am and end at 2am.
- The weather has been beautiful recently, so we've been spending a lot of time out of doors. Hopefully all the walking and days at the park will help me lose those 20lbs.
- I currently feel like death and wish I could punch someone.
- Life is BUSY, HECTIC, CRAZY right now, and I love it. I love that I'm not just sitting idly watching the days go by.
- I've planned a field trip to the city dump tomorrow.
- I'm still working on getting my driver's license. I still need serious work on my parallel parking but at least I've stopped having serious panic attacks on the highway.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Learnings.
So, this month I applied to college. :)
This week is Spring Break so I won't actually be starting my classes until Tuesday the 23rd.
I am super excited.
I'm doing an online accelerated program for a BA in History. I also get a grant provided from the university because I have military benefits. Here are bullet points on why I love this idea:
it is ALL online.
I can do it in my free time (after the girls are in bed for the night) and not worry about transportation.
I only take ONE class at a time.
Each course is only 5 weeks long.
I can still get my degree in 4 years.
tuition has been discounted from $354/credit hr to $254/credit hr.
I got my $55 applicatione fee waived.
I also had my $900 technical fees waived.
MY BOOKS ARE FREE!
I start of with the following two classes:
This week is Spring Break so I won't actually be starting my classes until Tuesday the 23rd.
I am super excited.
I'm doing an online accelerated program for a BA in History. I also get a grant provided from the university because I have military benefits. Here are bullet points on why I love this idea:
it is ALL online.
I can do it in my free time (after the girls are in bed for the night) and not worry about transportation.
I only take ONE class at a time.
Each course is only 5 weeks long.
I can still get my degree in 4 years.
tuition has been discounted from $354/credit hr to $254/credit hr.
I got my $55 applicatione fee waived.
I also had my $900 technical fees waived.
MY BOOKS ARE FREE!
I start of with the following two classes:
EXP 105 Personal Dimensions of Education
This course is designed to help adult learners beginning their university studies to achieve academic success. Students will explore learning theories, communication strategies, and personal management skills. Adult learners will develop strategies for achieving success in school and work. Students will also be introduced to the University's institutional outcomes and learning resources.
PSY 202 Adult Development & Life Assessment
This course presents adult development theory and links theoretical concepts of life and learning through a process of psychometric assessment and reflection. Both classical and contemporary adult development theories are examined. These theories then provide the paradigm for self-analysis and life learning, including a plan for personal, professional and academic learning.
Hooray for easy A's first thing. :D
Getting to Know You
1. If you're on my friends list, I want to know 36 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other. Short & sweet or long and detailed, all is good.
2. Comment here with your answers & repost the questionnaire on your own journal.
01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29) Do you swear a lot?
30) Biggest pet peeve?
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
33) Favourite and least favourite food?
34) Do you believe in God?
35) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
2. Comment here with your answers & repost the questionnaire on your own journal.
01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29) Do you swear a lot?
30) Biggest pet peeve?
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
33) Favourite and least favourite food?
34) Do you believe in God?
35) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Back to School
I AM GOING BACK TO SCHOOL! GO ME!
I start classes at Ashford University for my History major March 16.
I start classes at Ashford University for my History major March 16.
Monday, March 01, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Jumping on the Bandwagon
In my defense, I must admit, it is a pretty wagon.
Anyway, saw a few of my online and RL friends doing this, so I'm going to do it, too. I felt left out. ;)
Ask me anything at: http://www.formspring.me/lunaskye
Ask a question, any question, and I'll answer it. As long as it's appropriate.
Anyway, saw a few of my online and RL friends doing this, so I'm going to do it, too. I felt left out. ;)
Ask me anything at: http://www.formspring.me/lunaskye
Ask a question, any question, and I'll answer it. As long as it's appropriate.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Welcome to the 28 Day Organizing Challenge!
Welcome to the 28 Day Organizing Challenge!
Posted using ShareThis
So I've decided to do this challenge. Here's the video of my ungodly mess in my "craft" room. Wish me luck! (for those viewing this post in LJ, to view video, click THIS link)
Posted using ShareThis
So I've decided to do this challenge. Here's the video of my ungodly mess in my "craft" room. Wish me luck! (for those viewing this post in LJ, to view video, click THIS link)
Monday, January 25, 2010
First Real Post of the Year
Today is my 5 year wedding anniversary. How will it be spent? Probably sleeping. Man, we are some party animals.
J and I have known each other since I was 14 years old. We didnt' like each other when we first met, and didn't become friends until about a year and a half after we had first met. We started dating about another six months after that on May 21, 2002. We were married a month after I moved in with him when he was still stationed at Offutt AFB, NE. Five years later...well, we're here.
I love my husband dearly, though sometimes I feel he doesn't give me enough credit for what I do with the girls, he's always been a good provider. And though a lot of times, we argue, we haven't reverted to what we were in the beginning of our marriage. We have gone through so much together over the years, and even though we get on one another's nerves 90% of the time, he's always helped me when I needed it the most.
Lately I've felt like punching him in the face, but it's because I'm stressed and frustrated. I've started my portfolio for Lily in homeschooling. I won't really need it for another year, but when she is finally compulsory age, I will be able to show where we are educationally and developmentally. It takes a lot of patience and focus to teach a child, and it's a lot harder to separate 'school' from 'home' when both are done in the same place by the same people. J and I have been butting heads on what is required, what should be done, and how it should be done. I'm tired and frustrated, and we've both been coming off as assholes.
I'm exhausted. The only time I have for myself is when they children are asleep. Homeschooling takes a good couple of hours every day. Lily loses focus frequently and Iris would rather go play than practice tracing. Add a screaming infant who is an attention whore, and you have my day. I must be crazy to be doing this, but I know what works best for my children and the public school system doesn't provide what they need. They are advanced. Lily, who just turned 4 last month, is at a Kindergarten level in some areas and 1st grade in others, while Iris, who is 2, is already at a Pre-K/Kinder level herself. It takes all I have to keep them occupied.
I've been pretty bummed since I left Texas. I miss my family. I miss being around people my age on a semi-regular basis. I've just been spending the last few hours of my "day" watching episodes of Farscape on Netflix instant view. I had started a diet this year, since I am 20 pounds overweight, but have stopped because I just don't care enough to keep it up. I'm just so tired of life right now; I want to give up.
J and I have known each other since I was 14 years old. We didnt' like each other when we first met, and didn't become friends until about a year and a half after we had first met. We started dating about another six months after that on May 21, 2002. We were married a month after I moved in with him when he was still stationed at Offutt AFB, NE. Five years later...well, we're here.
I love my husband dearly, though sometimes I feel he doesn't give me enough credit for what I do with the girls, he's always been a good provider. And though a lot of times, we argue, we haven't reverted to what we were in the beginning of our marriage. We have gone through so much together over the years, and even though we get on one another's nerves 90% of the time, he's always helped me when I needed it the most.
Lately I've felt like punching him in the face, but it's because I'm stressed and frustrated. I've started my portfolio for Lily in homeschooling. I won't really need it for another year, but when she is finally compulsory age, I will be able to show where we are educationally and developmentally. It takes a lot of patience and focus to teach a child, and it's a lot harder to separate 'school' from 'home' when both are done in the same place by the same people. J and I have been butting heads on what is required, what should be done, and how it should be done. I'm tired and frustrated, and we've both been coming off as assholes.
I'm exhausted. The only time I have for myself is when they children are asleep. Homeschooling takes a good couple of hours every day. Lily loses focus frequently and Iris would rather go play than practice tracing. Add a screaming infant who is an attention whore, and you have my day. I must be crazy to be doing this, but I know what works best for my children and the public school system doesn't provide what they need. They are advanced. Lily, who just turned 4 last month, is at a Kindergarten level in some areas and 1st grade in others, while Iris, who is 2, is already at a Pre-K/Kinder level herself. It takes all I have to keep them occupied.
I've been pretty bummed since I left Texas. I miss my family. I miss being around people my age on a semi-regular basis. I've just been spending the last few hours of my "day" watching episodes of Farscape on Netflix instant view. I had started a diet this year, since I am 20 pounds overweight, but have stopped because I just don't care enough to keep it up. I'm just so tired of life right now; I want to give up.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
V is for Vacation
I am currently in a hotel in Del City, Oklahoma on my way back to Mo. Valley. For the last two weeks we've been in Killeen, TX visiting family. I had a good time. I'm tired and keep falling asleep in the car. We got here about 3 hours ahead of schedule at 4.30pm. We've been sitting here watching a Dirty Jobs marathon on the Discovery Channel.
I didn't do 95% of what I wanted to do back home, but I still had a great time. Saw a couple of friends, though not everyone I wanted to, and spent a lot of time with family. I really missed everyone and enjoyed the wonderful weather. ;) It has been negative degree weather in Nebraska/Iowa, while the weather in Texas, though raining a lot of times, was in the 50s/60s. We actually had to buy clothes while there because all I had brought were sweats. (it had been in the 30s the week BEFORE we arrived)
I did a bunch of stuff; saw Sherlock Holmes and New Moon, saw a handful of friends, Christmas, Lily's birthday, New Year's Eve...and having a vacation from both my husband and children on occasion. My family thought it was weird we were sleeping in different houses. I love him to death, but we can only stand each other in small doses. ;)
I just realized this is the first entry for the new year. We should be back at our house tomorrow. I am so ready for my own damn bed. I only have one goal this year and it's to lose 20 pounds by April. I am 20 lbs overweight, which I haven't been in since I was 14. I weigh right now what I weighed when I was IN LABOR with Lily.
Hope everyone has a very happy new year.
I didn't do 95% of what I wanted to do back home, but I still had a great time. Saw a couple of friends, though not everyone I wanted to, and spent a lot of time with family. I really missed everyone and enjoyed the wonderful weather. ;) It has been negative degree weather in Nebraska/Iowa, while the weather in Texas, though raining a lot of times, was in the 50s/60s. We actually had to buy clothes while there because all I had brought were sweats. (it had been in the 30s the week BEFORE we arrived)
I did a bunch of stuff; saw Sherlock Holmes and New Moon, saw a handful of friends, Christmas, Lily's birthday, New Year's Eve...and having a vacation from both my husband and children on occasion. My family thought it was weird we were sleeping in different houses. I love him to death, but we can only stand each other in small doses. ;)
I just realized this is the first entry for the new year. We should be back at our house tomorrow. I am so ready for my own damn bed. I only have one goal this year and it's to lose 20 pounds by April. I am 20 lbs overweight, which I haven't been in since I was 14. I weigh right now what I weighed when I was IN LABOR with Lily.
Hope everyone has a very happy new year.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Illnesses
So yesterday afternoon I decided to go to the doctor. For the past couple of days I have been VERY sick. Granted for the past couple of months I have been sick with my own ear infections and sinus infections, but not as bad as I was this weekend. My ENTIRE body hurt. I had a headache that wouldn't go away, I had a ton of sinus pressure, my whole body ached, and I whistled and wheezed when I breathed. I sounded like creaky floor boards and a death rattle. To top it off I was hormonal and testy because I was menstruating as well, so I also had terrible cramps and bloating. Oh joy. So when I sit on the exam table at the hospital today after Rita (my doctor) checks me out, she sits down, clasps her hands and says "Ok, so this is what we're going to do..." Great. That never sounds good at a doctors office. Long story short on am currently on 6 different medications, 5 of with I got today.
I take a medicated nasal spray every morning to keep my nose clear and my allergies at bay. (Rita was surprised at how clear my nasal cavaties were and its all thanks to that little guy) I now have two inhalers, one that I take twice every day that has a steriod, and the other to use throughout the day when I have trouble breathing like I had on Sunday. Then I have two separate antibiotics to take (one twice a day and the other 3 pills every day) as well as an antihistamine that won't knock me the fuck out. I'm on this regime for the next 10 days...that means our family's winter vacation is going to be a blast! [/sarcasm] This is what I get for being the idiot who smokes outside in negative degree weather.
I've been smoking again because of stress. I've quit multiple times, and I had reached up to a year at one point, but these kids are just driving me nuts. I've tried multiple tactics and I'm just not good at them so I give up (which I *know* I shouldn't do--I'm working on it) Smoking has always been my fall back guy, and for now, it's the only thing that is helping me not to lose my cool with the girls. So I've been going to therapy with Beckie again every month but this time for stress and anger management. My depression has actually been dormant and has not reared its ugly head. But the other two, that's a different story. I've been writing constantly in my paper journal and take it to my session and I've begun and behavior chart for both the children and I for behavior modification.
We're leaving for Texas on Saturday the 19th and will be gone until January 3. I'm fretting the car trip (I have motion sickness--go figure-LOL) but I am looking forward to showing off the girls and spending time with family. They get on my nerves a lot, but I do love the hell out of them...
There's so much more to write about but its late and I have to sleep if I want to wake up early enough to make sure Lily is fully attired in her snow gear for school tomorrow/today. She has a concert in the evening she's been practicing for. I'm really starting to get sick of Jungle Bells now. LOL.
I take a medicated nasal spray every morning to keep my nose clear and my allergies at bay. (Rita was surprised at how clear my nasal cavaties were and its all thanks to that little guy) I now have two inhalers, one that I take twice every day that has a steriod, and the other to use throughout the day when I have trouble breathing like I had on Sunday. Then I have two separate antibiotics to take (one twice a day and the other 3 pills every day) as well as an antihistamine that won't knock me the fuck out. I'm on this regime for the next 10 days...that means our family's winter vacation is going to be a blast! [/sarcasm] This is what I get for being the idiot who smokes outside in negative degree weather.
I've been smoking again because of stress. I've quit multiple times, and I had reached up to a year at one point, but these kids are just driving me nuts. I've tried multiple tactics and I'm just not good at them so I give up (which I *know* I shouldn't do--I'm working on it) Smoking has always been my fall back guy, and for now, it's the only thing that is helping me not to lose my cool with the girls. So I've been going to therapy with Beckie again every month but this time for stress and anger management. My depression has actually been dormant and has not reared its ugly head. But the other two, that's a different story. I've been writing constantly in my paper journal and take it to my session and I've begun and behavior chart for both the children and I for behavior modification.
We're leaving for Texas on Saturday the 19th and will be gone until January 3. I'm fretting the car trip (I have motion sickness--go figure-LOL) but I am looking forward to showing off the girls and spending time with family. They get on my nerves a lot, but I do love the hell out of them...
There's so much more to write about but its late and I have to sleep if I want to wake up early enough to make sure Lily is fully attired in her snow gear for school tomorrow/today. She has a concert in the evening she's been practicing for. I'm really starting to get sick of Jungle Bells now. LOL.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
NaNoWriMo: Days 13, 14, and 15
Catching up, catching up, catching up....
I am still 5K behind, but that's 5k to the half-way point. I have 30k+ to finaly finish this thing. I honestly think Ｉcan make it. I've been saving it online at Google Docs, so if you want, you can see it in progress at: http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AdFGpjR_lR3QZHdtY2R6Zl8yZ3c5N21wZ2M&hl=en
I am still 5K behind, but that's 5k to the half-way point. I have 30k+ to finaly finish this thing. I honestly think Ｉcan make it. I've been saving it online at Google Docs, so if you want, you can see it in progress at: http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AdFGpjR_lR3QZHdtY2R6Zl8yZ3c5N21wZ2M&hl=en
Thursday, November 12, 2009
NaNoWriMo: Days 10, 11, and 12
Been playing catch-up and hope to reach 25K by Saturday. Been writing it in a notebook and transcribing it to computer. Fingers-crossed I make it.
Monday, November 09, 2009
NaNoWriMo: Day 9
Mabon and Ritual
In Wicca I celebrate 8 different celebrations, half having to do with the turn of the season, the other half being quarter points in between. While the “year” ends and starts with Samhain, the Wheel of the Year always turns. We follow the cycle of Mother Earth.
Since it's November, Thanksgiving is coming up. Now my family is pretty laid-back on family celebrations. we never make a big deal out of anything. The only reason we're doing anything remotely secular this year is because we were invited to join with our neighbors. As we all know, Thanksgiving is a day where we join together as friends and family to honor that on which we are the most grateful for being blessed with. I, personally think it's a load of bullshit considering the fact that the only reason for the first “thanksgiving” was because the original European settlers hadn't done shit to prepare themselves properly for the upcoming winter and the Natives were nice enough to share. Then they were graciously thanked by being killed with weapons and disease as well as have their homes destroyed. I don't believe land belongs to anyone, but I do believe that you should share a land to live on instead of claim it as your own.
I celebrate a type of Thanksgiving in September, during the fall equinox, or the first day of fall. This celebration is Mabon and was known as the second harvest. The Welsh god's name, Mabon, means “great sun” and the story goes that he was kidnapped from his mother and hidden in the Underworld. This is the explanation the Welsh had for why the winter months were ahead. In many ways, the story of Mabon is very much the same as the Roman goddess Persephone's. Another explanation for the start of fall is that the Mother Goddess is now pregnant—well into her pregnancy, and the Father God is dying and can no longer support the earth. Since this is an equinox, equal parts light and dark, we also keep in mind balance.
Being a time for harvest, it is a time to celebrate the Earth's bounty. At this time we thank her for all that she had provided for us. For this reason it is considered a type of Thanksgiving. For us it is a total thanksgiving where we thank the old that has passed and the new that will come. We honor our families in this manner as well.
I did not celebrate Mabon this year. I had just had Zinnia not too long before and I was still adjusting to having three small children. However, I still remember a ritual I had with my healing circle to celebrate this occasion.
We first prepared the altar. Along with the candles we had a knife, a bowl of apples, and a balance beam on the floor. We cast the circle, called the quarters and invited deity to join us that evening. Then Eartha and her husband took turns conducting the ceremony. The purpose of the celebration was stated. We then walked along the 2x4 placed on the floor as a symbol for balance. An apple was then cut in half and the seeds passed around. They were symbolized as the seeds of healing and the fact of planting them in fall was explained. Afterward, we sat and ate and shared with each other what we were thankful for. It was a simple ritual, but very effective.
Which brings me to another topic. Most people believe ritual has to be this big showy spectacle, but in reality, it really doesn't. Some people find comfort and solace in planning and creating and later executing a large, long-winded ceremony with or without other people present, incorporating all of their magical tools. Others, like myself, prefer something simple and quick, but well thought out. Sometimes just a quick hello to deity to acknowledge the holiday will suffice. It does NOT have to be elaborate or extravagant.
The majority of my celebrations are just a simple poem dedicated to a particular deity that corresponds to the season and a prayer. I don't have the time or energy to do much more than that. With my house as full as it is, I won't be able to do much for a long time. However, the gods always hear me and know that even though I am busy I make an effort to honor them no matter how small.
Mother's Day
Along with my Pagan holidays and celebrations, I celebrate modern holiday and celebrations with my own twist. I always feel that even if it's not a “major” holiday, the gods like to join in on the fun as well. Ever since i had my daughters, my favorite holiday has been Mother's Day. Now, while I was pregnant with Zinnia, I didn't participate in or practice any ritual work. The most magic I did on any day was my daily meditations. So this year I did no ritual work until Samhain and before then I hadn't done anything since the Samhain before. wow, so I just realized that I took a year-long hiatus. Last year's Mother's Day, Daisy was only about 6-and-a-half months old while Violet was a little over 2 years. I had decided that she was old enough to join me in ritual work for Mother's Day since she could now speak and understand the dangers of fire. I thought I'd have a nice, small ritual with my daughter and that would be it. I forgot to take into account that she was still a toddler.
I had set up a simple altar honoring both my biological mother and earth mother, as well as the women who had been like a mother to me. In the center of all my “mother” mementos was a pale green candle. After taking some time to meditate on my mothers and motherhood, I brought my children into the ritual space to join along.
Since Daisy was still quite small, she entertained herself with lying on her back and chewing on ribbon and the altar cloth. Violet was next to me and while I lit the candle I had her repeat a poem my friend Dragon had written for the occasion.
I honor my motherhood
who gave birth to me
they comfort, console
bless, teach, and love me
May they be blessed
with love, honor, and prosperity.
Blessed be.
A beautiful poem and Violet recited it perfectly. However, being a toddler, she kept blowing out the candle! I kept laughing through most of the ritual. “See, this is why we can't have Pagan babies!” I couldn't keep a straight face. Every time she would finish a line, shed blow out the candle. Every time she'd blow out the candle, I'd burst out laughing and would have to re-light it. Needless to say it was a fun and interesting experience. Not at all what I had thought.
I hope to one day continue incorporating my children in my rituals. They always make things interesting. For the sabbats, if I am working in a group setting, I always encourage the girls to join in if they want to. It's always a blessing when they share a special moment with me. I will treasure them always.
word count:1216
In Wicca I celebrate 8 different celebrations, half having to do with the turn of the season, the other half being quarter points in between. While the “year” ends and starts with Samhain, the Wheel of the Year always turns. We follow the cycle of Mother Earth.
Since it's November, Thanksgiving is coming up. Now my family is pretty laid-back on family celebrations. we never make a big deal out of anything. The only reason we're doing anything remotely secular this year is because we were invited to join with our neighbors. As we all know, Thanksgiving is a day where we join together as friends and family to honor that on which we are the most grateful for being blessed with. I, personally think it's a load of bullshit considering the fact that the only reason for the first “thanksgiving” was because the original European settlers hadn't done shit to prepare themselves properly for the upcoming winter and the Natives were nice enough to share. Then they were graciously thanked by being killed with weapons and disease as well as have their homes destroyed. I don't believe land belongs to anyone, but I do believe that you should share a land to live on instead of claim it as your own.
I celebrate a type of Thanksgiving in September, during the fall equinox, or the first day of fall. This celebration is Mabon and was known as the second harvest. The Welsh god's name, Mabon, means “great sun” and the story goes that he was kidnapped from his mother and hidden in the Underworld. This is the explanation the Welsh had for why the winter months were ahead. In many ways, the story of Mabon is very much the same as the Roman goddess Persephone's. Another explanation for the start of fall is that the Mother Goddess is now pregnant—well into her pregnancy, and the Father God is dying and can no longer support the earth. Since this is an equinox, equal parts light and dark, we also keep in mind balance.
Being a time for harvest, it is a time to celebrate the Earth's bounty. At this time we thank her for all that she had provided for us. For this reason it is considered a type of Thanksgiving. For us it is a total thanksgiving where we thank the old that has passed and the new that will come. We honor our families in this manner as well.
I did not celebrate Mabon this year. I had just had Zinnia not too long before and I was still adjusting to having three small children. However, I still remember a ritual I had with my healing circle to celebrate this occasion.
We first prepared the altar. Along with the candles we had a knife, a bowl of apples, and a balance beam on the floor. We cast the circle, called the quarters and invited deity to join us that evening. Then Eartha and her husband took turns conducting the ceremony. The purpose of the celebration was stated. We then walked along the 2x4 placed on the floor as a symbol for balance. An apple was then cut in half and the seeds passed around. They were symbolized as the seeds of healing and the fact of planting them in fall was explained. Afterward, we sat and ate and shared with each other what we were thankful for. It was a simple ritual, but very effective.
Which brings me to another topic. Most people believe ritual has to be this big showy spectacle, but in reality, it really doesn't. Some people find comfort and solace in planning and creating and later executing a large, long-winded ceremony with or without other people present, incorporating all of their magical tools. Others, like myself, prefer something simple and quick, but well thought out. Sometimes just a quick hello to deity to acknowledge the holiday will suffice. It does NOT have to be elaborate or extravagant.
The majority of my celebrations are just a simple poem dedicated to a particular deity that corresponds to the season and a prayer. I don't have the time or energy to do much more than that. With my house as full as it is, I won't be able to do much for a long time. However, the gods always hear me and know that even though I am busy I make an effort to honor them no matter how small.
Mother's Day
Along with my Pagan holidays and celebrations, I celebrate modern holiday and celebrations with my own twist. I always feel that even if it's not a “major” holiday, the gods like to join in on the fun as well. Ever since i had my daughters, my favorite holiday has been Mother's Day. Now, while I was pregnant with Zinnia, I didn't participate in or practice any ritual work. The most magic I did on any day was my daily meditations. So this year I did no ritual work until Samhain and before then I hadn't done anything since the Samhain before. wow, so I just realized that I took a year-long hiatus. Last year's Mother's Day, Daisy was only about 6-and-a-half months old while Violet was a little over 2 years. I had decided that she was old enough to join me in ritual work for Mother's Day since she could now speak and understand the dangers of fire. I thought I'd have a nice, small ritual with my daughter and that would be it. I forgot to take into account that she was still a toddler.
I had set up a simple altar honoring both my biological mother and earth mother, as well as the women who had been like a mother to me. In the center of all my “mother” mementos was a pale green candle. After taking some time to meditate on my mothers and motherhood, I brought my children into the ritual space to join along.
Since Daisy was still quite small, she entertained herself with lying on her back and chewing on ribbon and the altar cloth. Violet was next to me and while I lit the candle I had her repeat a poem my friend Dragon had written for the occasion.
I honor my motherhood
who gave birth to me
they comfort, console
bless, teach, and love me
May they be blessed
with love, honor, and prosperity.
Blessed be.
A beautiful poem and Violet recited it perfectly. However, being a toddler, she kept blowing out the candle! I kept laughing through most of the ritual. “See, this is why we can't have Pagan babies!” I couldn't keep a straight face. Every time she would finish a line, shed blow out the candle. Every time she'd blow out the candle, I'd burst out laughing and would have to re-light it. Needless to say it was a fun and interesting experience. Not at all what I had thought.
I hope to one day continue incorporating my children in my rituals. They always make things interesting. For the sabbats, if I am working in a group setting, I always encourage the girls to join in if they want to. It's always a blessing when they share a special moment with me. I will treasure them always.
word count:1216
Sunday, November 08, 2009
NaNoWriMo: Day 8
I can't believe a week has already passed. Couldn't turn my internal editor off. I was doing ok with it, arguing. "November is for writing, December is for editing" But it won today and I spent the entire time adding and subtracting words. *sigh* I am so behind. Tomorrow will be a lot of catching up.
NaNoWriMo: Day 7
I have been playing "catch-up"
Rites of Passage
I don't know about most religions but I know that Catholics do Rites of Passage as part of their faith – baptism, communion, et cetera. Wicca, too, has Rites of Passage. But seeing as my oldest is only just turning 4, I haven't gotten past the baptism. The Wicca equivalent of a baptism is called a Wiccaning. However, like any baptism, this dedicates the child to the actual faith and god(s) that they need to follow. Instead of a Wiccaning I prefer to do a baby blessing. That way she is blessed and guided by the gods throughout her life, but she doesn't have to follow a set faith or dogma until she is old enough to choose her own way.
Violet was blessed by my mother at her church. Being a polytheist, I do not discriminate between gods. I believe all gods are worthy of watching over my children and guiding them spiritually when they seek it. Being as it was almost four years ago when it happened, though, I don't really remember how it went. I remember a prayer and Violet being blessed with the holy oil and that's about it. She had been only a couple of weeks and so I was still seriously suffering from “mommy-brain.”
Daisy's was different. It was held at my house and was performed by my friend, Eartha, who was ordained by Universal Life Church. It was simple, with candles, and with only our family, Eartha's husband. and out friend Boston. I had chosen a Wiccaning Rite out of the book Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft and tweaked it to better suit my needs. There was nothing wrong with his rite, it was just too specific to the Wiccan faith and I don't want to force one faith on my children. So it went as follows:
Rites of Passage
I don't know about most religions but I know that Catholics do Rites of Passage as part of their faith – baptism, communion, et cetera. Wicca, too, has Rites of Passage. But seeing as my oldest is only just turning 4, I haven't gotten past the baptism. The Wicca equivalent of a baptism is called a Wiccaning. However, like any baptism, this dedicates the child to the actual faith and god(s) that they need to follow. Instead of a Wiccaning I prefer to do a baby blessing. That way she is blessed and guided by the gods throughout her life, but she doesn't have to follow a set faith or dogma until she is old enough to choose her own way.
Violet was blessed by my mother at her church. Being a polytheist, I do not discriminate between gods. I believe all gods are worthy of watching over my children and guiding them spiritually when they seek it. Being as it was almost four years ago when it happened, though, I don't really remember how it went. I remember a prayer and Violet being blessed with the holy oil and that's about it. She had been only a couple of weeks and so I was still seriously suffering from “mommy-brain.”
Daisy's was different. It was held at my house and was performed by my friend, Eartha, who was ordained by Universal Life Church. It was simple, with candles, and with only our family, Eartha's husband. and out friend Boston. I had chosen a Wiccaning Rite out of the book Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft and tweaked it to better suit my needs. There was nothing wrong with his rite, it was just too specific to the Wiccan faith and I don't want to force one faith on my children. So it went as follows:
I set up the altar, which was my coffee table, with all the necessary accouterments. I had one main candle to light to honor the Goddess and four smaller candles place at the four corners of the earth, North, South, East, and West, with the corresponding colors; green, red, yellow, and blue. I then called upon the gods and the Watchtowers to supervise the blessing while Eartha blessed the water.
PARENTS: Here we offer [BABY'S NAME], the fruit of our love, to the Gods. May they watch over her as she grows.
OFFICIATE: (bless baby's forehead with holy water, anointing oil, or blessed salt water) [BABY'S NAME], may the Gods smile upon you, guard you, and guide you through this life. May they help you choose between right and wrong and that no harm befalls you or others through you.
(to PARENTS) You are both blessed by the Gods. Will you lead [BABY'S NAME], with love, through the ways of life and teach her to honor and respect all life and others?
PARENTS: Yes, we will.
OFFICIATE: Will you teach her to strive for her happiness and desires, and, when the time comes, to choose her own path with the Universe?
PARENTS: Yes, we will.
OFFICIATE: (to all present) And so we welcome and bless [BABY'S NAME] unto this world. May the Gods protect her always. Blessed be.
ALL: Blessed be!
After all was said and done, we passed Daisy around and she was held by all while they whispered their blessings to her. Their gifts to her were yellow carnation flowers.
Zinnia's blessing was also held at our house not too long ago, about a month ago if I'm not mistaken and even that one was done differently. I had chosen an Omaha tribe children's blessing tat I had come across one day and found absolutely suiting and beautiful. This time, more people were present and all from our Pagan healing circle. Boston officiated this one as Eartha is currently pregnant and I figured she'd prefer to sit this one out.
I set up the altar before hand, very similar to the way I had done last time, but instead of invoking the gods and calling the quarters then casting a circle, I just called upon the gods to join us by lighting the largest candle and lit a corresponding corner candle when the blessing was read.
Sun, Moon, Stars, all you that move in the heavens, hear us!
Into your midst has come a new life.
Make his path smooth, that he may reach the brow of the first hill! (Here I let the red south candle)
Winds, Clouds, Rain, Mist, all you that move in the air, hear us!
Into your midst has come a new life.
Make his path smooth, that he may reach the brow of the second hill! (Here I let the blue West candle)
Hills, Valleys, Rivers, Lakes, Trees, Grasses, all you of the earth, hear us!
Into your midst has come a new life.
Make his path smooth, that he may reach the brow of the third hill! (Here I let the green North candle)
Birds, great and small, that fly in the air,
Animals, great and small, that dwell in the forest,
Insects that creep among the grasses and burrow in the ground, hear us!
Into your midst has come a new life.
Make his path smooth, that he may reach the brow of the fourth hill! (Here I let the yellow East candle)
All you of the heavens, all you of the air, all you of the earth, hear us!
Into your midst has come a new life.
Make his path smooth, then shall he travel beyond the four hills!(At this point, Zinnia was blessed with the holy water)
When all was finished, we then explained the meanings of the Medicine Wheel and the four hills while the baby was passed around. Everyone told her their wishes and blessings for her as well as gave her gifts. We then hung out and all had pizza.
even though each was different, all the blessings were special and had the same purpose, to give my children spiritual protection and love. I can't wait until they are older so that we can do other Rites of Passage together. I think it would be nice to enter into womanhood with their mother behind them to support them. When I first started my menstrual cycle I was nervous, ashamed, and horribly upset. I was not happy that I was female at all. Then again, i had just turned eleven and didn't like the idea of being a woman. I knew about all the physical changes my body was going through already, I had researched it, but my mother, thinking that I already knew enough, wasn't “there”. It was never a big deal and I couldn't really talk about it because I had been taught that it was something private that we kept to ourselves. I don't want my daughters to feel ashamed to be a woman like I did. I know my mother was just doing what she thought she was supposed to do, what she had been taught, but it didn't benefit me in the least. I want to be there for all the spiritual and physical monuments in their lifetime. I think it is paramount to guide them through and cheer them on.
word count: 1207
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