Sunday, April 27, 2014

Physical Changes

My name is Vonnie and I am obese. Granted, I'm not morbidly obese, I'm right at the border between obese and overweight, but the fact remains that I contain too much fat in my body.

I am 5'1" and, currently, my BMI is 31.6 at 167 pounds. My doctor wishes to get me down to about 130 pounds to be considered healthy. Right now, I'm feeling like uuuuuunnnnnnnnnggggggggghhhhhhh every time I think about it. I really hate exercise and I really love cake. See my problem?

Today, Sunday, April 27, 2014, marks my first day of my daily exercise challenge. I'm combining cardio with strength training and alternating it yoga. I also plan to walk a total of 8 miles a day. Another dilemma, I really like sleeping. Getting out of my deliciously comfortable bed is going to feel like torture, but I really need to do this. I NEED TO DO THIS.

I'm terribly vain and superficial. While I am, deep down, doing this to be healthy again and be able to keep up with my kids, the truth is that my 10-year high school reunion is in exactly two months and I am FAAAAAAAAAAATT. I do NOT want people I haven't seen in a decade see that I went from hotness to busted in the past decade. In high school, my highest weight was 115. My freshman year of college had me at 120. After I had my first two children, I was 130. After child 3, 140, and then 150 after child 4. When I started taking 10 bajillion different medications for my mental health, my weight skyrocketed to 185 pounds. In the past year, I've had to finagle with my meds, which, thankfully, helped me lose 20 pounds, leaving me where I am now.

So. The reason for writing all of this down is to be held accountable and track my progress. My wish is to lose 20lbs before my high school reunion. Fingers crossed I keep this up.

Sunday, March 02, 2014

Love is Patient. Love is Kind.

I still love him, all of him, and I feel like I'm falling even more in love with him as time goes on. The more we are apart, the more I ache for his presence.


This is driving me nuts!

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Time for an Overhaul

Things are changing...

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

31: Blog Challenge: Why Do You Blog


Asking me why I blog is like asking a normal person why they breathe. BECAUSE I NEED IT. Writing is my only outlet that I can use to express myself. It's the place I go to where I can let it all out and not feel the judgmental stares of everyone around me. It's the one place where I can be honest without having to censor myself.

Yes, feelings get hurt, and sometimes it can be completely anonymous, but the person still figures out it's about them and they get all butt-hurt about it, like it's my fault they were being a dick. I at least had the decency to not mention them by name, but if the shoe fits... *shrug* But the words are MINE, and if you don't like one is forcing you to read them.

I blog for the same reason I journal. It's not because I want to say something, it's because I have something to say. No matter how trivial, how ridiculous, how banal any of it sounds, I need to say it. If there's someone out there who reads it, then so be it. I don't do this for anybody else. I do this for me.

Monday, December 30, 2013

30: Blog Challenge: What's In Your Make-Up Bag

Really? This is a question? Make-up. That's what's in my make-up bag.
[will edit later with picture.]

Sunday, December 29, 2013

But I Fumbled It When It Came Down to the Wire

The year is coming to a close. 2012 was pretty awful. I thought 2013 would be the year things got back on track. That wasn't the case; 2013 ended up to be worse. Now that 2014 is fast approaching, I am hoping, praying, that this will finally be the year things get better. I don't want another nail in the coffin.

I have many plans that are underway. I start classes next month to finish my degree. In April, it will be one year without any serious episodes. In June, it will be a year since my CPS case closed. Many changes are coming and I'm hoping I'm making the right decisions for the better.

With all that said, this will be my last public post. I will no longer be sharing my personal life online. While I'll still post the ridiculosity that is my children on Facebook, everything else is being kept private. I will be sharing my old journal entries from my stints in the psych ward for anyone who is interested. They will be posted at on a daily basis. I'm hoping to raise more awareness for mental illness.

Anyway, I wish that everyone have a happy new year.

29: Blog Challenge: Where Have You Travelled

You know, even though I grew up military and later married military, I didn't go far.

I was born in Puerto Rico. We were stationed in Washington, Oklahoma, Texas and Hawaii. My ex and I were stationed in Nebraska and then crossed the border to Iowa. I've visited relatives in South Carolina, Alabama, and California, and I hope to eventually do so in Florida. One day I'd like to go overseas.