Monday, January 25, 2010

First Real Post of the Year

Today is my 5 year wedding anniversary. How will it be spent? Probably sleeping. Man, we are some party animals.

J and I have known each other since I was 14 years old. We didnt' like each other when we first met, and didn't become friends until about a year and a half after we had first met. We started dating about another six months after that on May 21, 2002. We were married a month after I moved in with him when he was still stationed at Offutt AFB, NE. Five years later...well, we're here.

I love my husband dearly, though sometimes I feel he doesn't give me enough credit for what I do with the girls, he's always been a good provider. And though a lot of times, we argue, we haven't reverted to what we were in the beginning of our marriage. We have gone through so much together over the years, and even though we get on one another's nerves 90% of the time, he's always helped me when I needed it the most.

Lately I've felt like punching him in the face, but it's because I'm stressed and frustrated. I've started my portfolio for Lily in homeschooling. I won't really need it for another year, but when she is finally compulsory age, I will be able to show where we are educationally and developmentally. It takes a lot of patience and focus to teach a child, and it's a lot harder to separate 'school' from 'home' when both are done in the same place by the same people. J and I have been butting heads on what is required, what should be done, and how it should be done. I'm tired and frustrated, and we've both been coming off as assholes.

I'm exhausted. The only time I have for myself is when they children are asleep. Homeschooling takes a good couple of hours every day. Lily loses focus frequently and Iris would rather go play than practice tracing. Add a screaming infant who is an attention whore, and you have my day. I must be crazy to be doing this, but I know what works best for my children and the public school system doesn't provide what they need. They are advanced. Lily, who just turned 4 last month, is at a Kindergarten level in some areas and 1st grade in others, while Iris, who is 2, is already at a Pre-K/Kinder level herself. It takes all I have to keep them occupied.

I've been pretty bummed since I left Texas. I miss my family. I miss being around people my age on a semi-regular basis. I've just been spending the last few hours of my "day" watching episodes of Farscape on Netflix instant view. I had started a diet this year, since I am 20 pounds overweight, but have stopped because I just don't care enough to keep it up. I'm just so tired of life right now; I want to give up.

Saturday, January 02, 2010

V is for Vacation

I am currently in a hotel in Del City, Oklahoma on my way back to Mo. Valley. For the last two weeks we've been in Killeen, TX visiting family. I had a good time. I'm tired and keep falling asleep in the car. We got here about 3 hours ahead of schedule at 4.30pm. We've been sitting here watching a Dirty Jobs marathon on the Discovery Channel.

I didn't do 95% of what I wanted to do back home, but I still had a great time. Saw a couple of friends, though not everyone I wanted to, and spent a lot of time with family. I really missed everyone and enjoyed the wonderful weather. ;) It has been negative degree weather in Nebraska/Iowa, while the weather in Texas, though raining a lot of times, was in the 50s/60s. We actually had to buy clothes while there because all I had brought were sweats. (it had been in the 30s the week BEFORE we arrived)

I did a bunch of stuff; saw Sherlock Holmes and New Moon, saw a handful of friends, Christmas, Lily's birthday, New Year's Eve...and having a vacation from both my husband and children on occasion. My family thought it was weird we were sleeping in different houses. I love him to death, but we can only stand each other in small doses. ;)

I just realized this is the first entry for the new year. We should be back at our house tomorrow. I am so ready for my own damn bed. I only have one goal this year and it's to lose 20 pounds by April. I am 20 lbs overweight, which I haven't been in since I was 14. I weigh right now what I weighed when I was IN LABOR with Lily.

Hope everyone has a very happy new year.