Thursday, November 23, 2006

Today is J's golden birthday (23 years on the 23rd of the month) and because I am sick in more ways than I had intended to be, everything that I had planned for this day has had to be discarded. So instead, I will take this time to express of what I am thankful for...

I am thankful for family. Even though my mother and siblings can drive me mad and they irratate me quite frequently, I love them. They gave me a place to stay and offered help, though at price sometimes, they were still there when I needed them. Some of my friends I consider family. Those are the friends who gave me a couch/futon/bed to crash on when I was too exhausted to move any further or a babysitter when I needed to go somewhere and couldn't take the baby along. I'm thankful for all my friends old and new.

J-- though he has done some very stupid things in the past I can only put them behind me and move on. He has grown up so much and I am thankful and grateful of this change. Watching him with our daughter and looking into his face when he's with her shows me just how much he loves her and how much he loves "his girls". Things may be the same in some aspects, but they are still different on the ones that mean the most. I will always love him and I am glad that I gave it another chance. Not many people change from what he used to be. He went and proved to the world that he is a better person than most.

Draco-- I've known him for a couple (2) of years now and there are times that I feel we are one in the same. With the same exact issues, it's sometimes hard to tell the difference. :) I am so happy he has found happiness in Perseus and vice versa. Coming to the states was the best thing he could have ever done. He was a great friend when I was going through my tough times. I hope he knows that I will always be there for him.

Jaz and Cindy-- these two are some crazy bitches. :) LOL. But I adore them immensely. Without their support I don't know if I ever would have truly seen a light at the end of the tunnel. True the situation wasnt the best, but it was a nice relief knowing that I wasn't alone, that people understood, and that I would always have someone I could turn to. They both helped me through a lot. Even though we've never met, Jaz has watched me grow up via LJ. She's been there the entire 5 or 6 years since. And Cindy, I'm glad Jaz "introduced" us. They are both awesome and that's all I can really say.

Di-- Happyland Comix will never be the same without her. My "other half" so to speak. I thankful that we became so close in such a small amount of time. I think of her often, as creepy as that sounds, and Buddha smiles down on her.

Carol-- I only met less than a month ago in an LJ community. I'm so happy I did, too. I hope that I can help her in her spiritual journey but she has been such a great help to me in my Mary Kay business. She, too, is awesome.

I am thankful for all of the friendships that I have acquired throughout my lifetime; new or old, past and present.

I am happy, grateful, thankful for my faith. It has helped me overcome many of my obstacles. I may not be the Christian my mother wanted me to be, the Catholic my other family members are, are anything remotely in the vicinity of Allah, Yaweh, or Jesus, but I do have a faith. I do have a God(des) and I do have my ethic and morals that have help me be strong and make the right decisions in life.

Last, but surely not least, I am thankful for Lily. She was my bright northern star in the sky. She is my reason for waking up each morning and for living each day. Without her I would not be who I am and the thought that I could have lost her (twice!!) still frightens me. She is the only reason why I am still standing. She's my little faery princess, my ray of sunshine, the large pain in my ass, and the love of my life.

I can honestly say that I am content in the path I have chosen in life right now. I am a blessed little heathen. I have a loving husband who cooks and does laundry and takes care of me the way a husband should. I have a beautiful daughter, that though sometimes I just want to grab her and stick her in the trash can for being a brat, I love her with all my being. I have a roof over my head. Though this is a small place and we're all placed in one room, we are still warm during the cold nights and cool during the hot days. We are still dry from the rain and snow. There is food in my stomach, and nice furniture in our apartment. There are clothes in our closets as well as musical instruments and other things we can entertain ourselves with. There are no debts, and there are privileges that we have that most do not.

I am thankful for life and what I have been blessed with.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Woke up this morning with a yeast infection and a displaced hip.
Fucking great.
Today was not my day.