31: Blog Challenge: Why Do You Blog

WOO-HOO! LAST DAY!

Asking me why I blog is like asking a normal person why they breathe. BECAUSE I NEED IT. Writing is my only outlet that I can use to express myself. It's the place I go to where I can let it all out and not feel the judgmental stares of everyone around me. It's the one place where I can be honest without having to censor myself.

Yes, feelings get hurt, and sometimes it can be completely anonymous, but the person still figures out it's about them and they get all butt-hurt about it, like it's my fault they were being a dick. I at least had the decency to not mention them by name, but if the shoe fits... *shrug* But the words are MINE, and if you don't like them...no one is forcing you to read them.

I blog for the same reason I journal. It's not because I want to say something, it's because I have something to say. No matter how trivial, how ridiculous, how banal any of it sounds, I need to say it. If there's someone out there who reads it, then so be it. I don't do this for anybody else. I do this for me.

30: Blog Challenge: What's In Your Make-Up Bag

Really? This is a question? Make-up. That's what's in my make-up bag.
[will edit later with picture.]

29: Blog Challenge: Where Have You Travelled

You know, even though I grew up military and later married military, I didn't go far.

I was born in Puerto Rico. We were stationed in Washington, Oklahoma, Texas and Hawaii. My ex and I were stationed in Nebraska and then crossed the border to Iowa. I've visited relatives in South Carolina, Alabama, and California, and I hope to eventually do so in Florida. One day I'd like to go overseas.

28: Blog Challenge: What Are You Looking Forward To?

...An end to all this madness.

I just want everything to be stable again.

27: Blog Challenge: Post Your Favorite Recipe

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHA
Ha ha.
*pants*

Yeah..... I don't cook. And when I do, I make it up as I go.

26: Blog Challenge: An Old Photo Of You

This picture was taken in 1999/2000. I was in 8th grade, outside of the choir hall at Wheeler Intermediate School in Wheeler AFB, HI. I had ridiculously long hair and was super scrawny.

25: Blog Challenge: Your 5 Favorite Blogs

Uh oh. I'm in trouble here.

I DON'T HAVE ANY.

I stopped actively reading blogs when I was homeless. Then that was followed by a mental breakdown. Then I stopped homeschooling my kids. I'll read the blogs of friends, though.

My friend Mary shares her awesomeness at Living a Sunshine Life
I do enjoy the neat tips from Laura over at I'm an OrgJunkie!

.....and that's all I got.

24: Blog Challenge: Your Favorite Childhood Book

I had two. Corduroy by Don Freeman and Bedtime For Frances by Russell Hoban.

I got them both as books on tape when I was about 6. I could already read by then, but I would put them in a little walkman and listen to them when I went to sleep.

I had a little brown bear. I dressed him up in green overalls that I had made and named him Corduroy. I would pretend I was Lisa, and even arranged my room to look like hers in the book.

When I couldn't sleep, I'd listen to Bedtime For Frances, and when the book was finished, I'd try my own ABC song, like she had in her attempt to fall asleep.

To this day I still have those books, both of them, WITH THEIR TAPES. Yep. I'm a dork, but I got to share them with my kids. :)

23: Blog Challenge: Your Dream Job

While I've attempted to finish my BA in History and English, and had originally wanted to be a teacher of said subjects, I have ALWAYS wanted to own my own bookstore.

I mentioned this idea to my friend Diana once, in high school. We had drawn up a floor plan for our proposed bookstore/coffee shop/apartment. It was actually a pretty sweet layout. Then we married military men and went our separate ways. Le Sigh.

I still wish to one day have my own bookstore, specifically one that caters to alternative lifestyles and spiritual paths. Being Pagan, I want it to focus mostly on old remedies, and practices, while still being a comfy place to hang out as well.

One day, maybe when I'm old...

22: Blog Challenge: The Best Thing To Happen This Year

THIS YEAR SUCKED BALLS.

...

Fine, I'll try and think of something...

...

I guess the best thing to happen to me this year would have to be that I'm pretty much on my own. I've never been on my own before. I've never paid my own bills, and I've always had someone taking care of me. Yes, I have a roommate, but I still pay my own way. Yes, I don't have a job, but I would if I could. I'm on disability, but without it, I'd be living with my mom. For once, I'm only dependant on me and only have to worry about ME.

That's a good thing, right?

21: Blog Challenge: Your 10 Favorite Foods

Um... ALL OF THEM! I wouldn't be this large if I didn't love food. But seriously, now...

1. My friend Danita's spaghetti and meatballs. She makes them from scratch and they are heaven and she has ruined me from any other meatballs forever.
2. Ramen. I know I will eventually go into cardiac arrest from the amount of sodium in those bad boys, but I care not!
3. Pancakes.
4. Funyuns. I don't care if they make my breath smell like armpit, they are delicious and I will continue to eat them.
5. Chocolate.
6. Lemon pie. I don't care what kind of pie, just as long as it's a pie, and lemon.
7. Buttery and sweet grits.
8. My friend Brandy's homemade chicken and dumplings. Because I'm from Texas, that's why.
9. My friend Mary's potatoes.
10. Anything my sister makes.

I'm terrible at doing these.

2o: Blog Challenge: A Difficult Time In Your Life

Wow, let's see...a difficult time in my life...

At 27, I've had so many difficult times, I should have been institutionalized... Oh, wait, that was one of those difficult times. Honestly, I can't decide just one. My childhood sucked. My teen years sucked. My young adulthood sucked. I'm quite sure I'm still going through a quarter-life crises.

Currently, I'm in a difficult patch in my life. A year ago, CPS got involved in our lives, again, because of my mental health. In the end, I lost custody of my kids. While I only live 10 minutes away and I have them every weekend, I'm not allowed to be left unsupervised with them. It's a bunch of bullshit, if you ask me. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a fucking good mom. Yes, I wasn't healthy, but my children never went without...no matter what shit my ex says. He has the bad habit of exaggerating my illness and my failures.

I am a damn good mom and having my kids, for lack of better term, taken away has left me broken. It's been five months now and I'm still not used to it. I'm still angry. And I still wish I could punch CPS in their stupid faces. I just have to remember "one day at a time; one step at a time."

19: Blog Challenge: What Do You Collect?

My sense of collecting is more like hoarding, so a lot of my "collections" have been donated in recent years and minimized due to space. The main things I like to keep are:

• notebooks & journals
• funky socks
• purses
• handwritten notes, cards & letters from friends and family

I refuse to touch my journals. Those are MINE, damn it.

My socks go through cycles, mostly because I love them so much that I wear holes in them, fix them, wear more holes, fix them, and then they finally fall apart and die. 

My old collection of purses was actually pretty impressive. I had all shapes, like bustiers and shoes, and sizes, ranging from a wristlet to a huge tote. Designs varied from sequins, to prints, to pictures. Some had decorative scarves or chains, and a lot came with matching accessories. Due to space, I donated 90% of my bags to the Salvation Army and kept the ones that were more suited to my lifestyle.

I've kept about 80% of all the handwritten letters and notes and cards that I have received since I was about 9 years old. The only reason why that is not 100% is that I either lost them in moves or left them in my pockets during laundry day.

18: Blog Challenge: The Meaning Behind Your Blog Name

If you're reading this on LiveJournal, my username is cyndi_lauper and the titles to both my blog and friends' page are lyrics from Cyndi Lauper's True Colors.

I absolutely adore Cyndi Lauper. When I was a child watching her perform on TV, I thought she was EPIC, and I still do. She has always stayed true to herself, and is beautiful, smart, and articulate, as well as super talented. To this day, she is still one of my role models, and I'm damn near 30 now. As for why lyrics from True Colors? Well, that's simple. The lyrics are the embodiment of being true to yourself, and that's something that I strive for every day. I never want to be fake. I never want to be a carbon copy of someone else. I always want to be ME, and be honest and happy with who I am.

Now, if you're reading this on Blogger, the title of the blog is Vonnieness (with the subheading still being lyrics from True Colors.) In high school, a couple of girl friends of mine added "ness" to the end of our names because not only was it fun to say, but it described who we were just by our names. I was Vonnieness, in both name and being, and they were Amberness, and Nessaness, and Wendyness. They were and still are their own essence, their unique embodiment of beautiful and wonderful.

17: Blog Challenge: What Is Your Most Proud Moment?

My proudest moment was shortly after midnight on December 27, 2005. I had spent 17 hours in labor at the hospital and my baby was in distress. After an emergency cesarean, Lily was extracted with her umbilical cord wrapped tightly around her neck. It took a few minutes before they could get her breathing again and when I heard that baby finally cry, I knew she had made it. I was so proud of how strong that little girl was. Even at birth, she was feisty, only quieting down when I told her that everything was okay and that her mommy was there for her. Between December 26 and December 27, it was the most painful, exhilarating, terrifying, and powerful moment of my life.

16: Blog Challenge: What's At the Top of Your Bucket List?

You know, I don't actually have a bucket list. I guess one thing I'd really like to do is go to Europe or Japan or something overseas. I've never traveled any further than Puerto Rico in one direction and Hawaii in the other. It'd be nice to go somewhere new.

15: Blog Challenge: Timeline of Your Day

This is how my days go when I have my kids for the weekend.

8am - wake-up, then fart around for an hour
9am - breakfast and check social media/email
10am - bookwork/lessons/reading/art
12pm - snack
1pm - continue learnings
2pm - lunch
3pm - watch educational children's shows for one hour
4pm - nap/quiet time
6pm - dinner
7pm - read/play/be silly
8pm - kid bath time
9pm - kid bedtime
10pm - once the children are asleep I either watch TV, fart around the internet, text-message people, write/edit, or go bug my mom. :D
12am - bathe
2am - bed

14: Blog Challenge: If You Won the Lottery...

So, Texas lottery starts at about $12 million. If I won the lottery, I'd pay off all of my debts along with my ex-husband's (170K). I'd buy a decent house that my kids and I could all live in comfortably (100K). I'd replace the car and the van (70K). I'd probably give money to my mom and brother (20K). And definitely put money aside for all the children to go to college (640K). All of that, and I'd still have about $11,000,000 left. I'd probably remodel the house, because knowing me I'd buy something Victorian, and then buy a bunch of books, and then invest the rest. If I won this now, I'd even build my mom's church.

Maybe I'd get some plastic surgery done or something....that's still up in the air, though.

13: Blog Challenge: What is Your Earliest Memory?

When my mom was a single mom in the 80's, she had a nanny whom we called Mama Sol. While I can't remember her entire place, I do remember her couches, which were velvety, red, with black accents. She was my nanny until my mom remarried and moved to the states when I was about 3. That's my earliest memory for sure, but I don't actually remember detailed memories until I was about 5 or 6, living on post in Ft. Lewis, Washington.

12: Blog Challenge: What's Inside Your Fridge?

just the basics.

My roommate and I have a lot of nonperishables, so most of our food is in the cabinets. Our fridge looks so sad, but only two people use it.