Saturday, June 30, 2001

Witching Hour....

It just turned midnight right when I opened this to update it! Man, that's kinda cool, though. I'm still awake, I still haven't slept, and I still feel like shit.

My mom took me to see the Velez's and we gave Juan his old Father's Day gift that we couldn't give him b/c we couldn't go...and then we went to the Soto's to give Jackie her Congrats, Grad card since we weren't able to before, and then we went to the Castellanos' and I got my grub on w/ some salad.

My mom had to talk to Carmine while she was there, b/c Carmine has being making up stories that could get people in a big mess. To our company she was saying that our house was dirty, that I was straight up lazy and didn't do shit around the house, that my mom didn't cook and had to go to Ary's house to eat food and this other bullshit...and then she started PMSing b/c we didn't give her pictures. For one thing, the pictures that she had in her hand were the wrong ones...but, oh, well...

But other than that, my day was the same like usual. Nothing out of the ordinary. I have to go to my church's garage sale in about 8 hours...but I still feel suicidal...you know what I mean? I just feel so alone at times....which pisses my best friends off. ::jason:: And I know it would seriously bother my boyfriend...

I know I should just let things go and live on...but it's easier said than done. It's been a traumatizing 6 years...it's not that easy...

I've gotten into the habit of hurting myself again...it's actually rather easy now. All I have to do is burn myself...it's not even that hard. I spread salt on the area I want, put and ice cube on it, hold it for a minute...the process stings for a while b/c it's burning skin, but the ice also numbs it in a way...and then release. Wipe off any excess salt and you're done...You have a fresh burn that hurts like a mug in the next 24 hours...

Well, my leg just fell asleep, and I'm still wide awake...
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