Military

So I went to the recruiter. Right now, joining the military is a no-go. One thing they look at in the medical records is whether or not one has been through phsyciatric therapy for whatever reason. One has to NOT be in therapy for at LEAST 6 months. I went on Tuesday. *sigh* I understand why this has to be. With so many soldiers going out to war, they have to make sure that they are sending out kids who aren't going to immediately end up with PTSD. The fact that I haven't been on medication for over two years though is a plus! :) Six months. That's how much time I have.

I'm keeping positive with this. This is something I really want and am willing to work hard for. In these next 6 months I'll be making sure I have done everything in my power to get this. We will be saving up as much as we can and paying off any debts we have. (I have a couple grand in medical bills and classes to pay for.) I will continue with my education, so that I can show them I am dedicated and advance in rank. (I already have more than the 20 credits they require for the advancement.) I will exercise daily, upping my daily challenge on DDR, so that I can be in shape for BMT (basic military training). I want good credit, awesome credit hours, and stamina to make this work. The counseling will continue, but off-record.

My bestie, Mary, has her BS in Psychology. She is working on her MS in that area as well and is prepping herself to become a life-coach. I have offered to be her guinea pig. :) It's a win-win situation if you ask me. I get regular counseling (for FREE and off-record) and she gets experience in her desired field.

I'm pumped. I'm super jazzed. Now that I have a goal in mind, I don't feel depressed as much. I think the reason why I was so down was because I felt that my life had no meaning. I was wandering around aimlessly for a WHILE, just hoping, praying, things would work out without any real plan. Now that I have made a light at the end of this tunnel, I can work toward attaining it. I've been actively working on through my crisis plan and currently feel awesome.

I was super bummed yesterday. I let my recruiter know that I had only been going to therapy as a maintenance procedure. I let him be aware that I was molested as a child and damn near killed by my husband as an adult. I wasn't a naturally damaged person, I was just damaged because of the cards I was dealt. It wasn't fair that the actions of others held me back from living a normal mental health. He was sympathetic, but helpful. I know what I have to do. I'm ready. I'm doing this.

Stuff And Things

So...
I have a set date to talk to a recruiter. I will head out to the Air Force recruiter, or at least one of them, in Omaha on Thursday at 1:30. I plan on taking my ASVAB some time next week. I'm really psyched about this. I remember how much fun I had in JROTC. Granted, I know it wasn't hard-core or anything, but I was loving every minute of it. Also, I am hot in a uniform. ;)

I went to a new psychologist today and we made a crisis plan. I really don't think I need it, but I was honest with her on how I feel. It would be nice to just continue for now just so that I can vent to an unbiased flesh-and-blood person. I love writing here, but it's never enough. She at least understood, kind of, my need for not wanting meds. I really, really, REALLY hate being on medication. My next appointment with her is next Tuesday.

I need to get in shape, at least in some sort of shape that is not LAZY. I know ROUND is a shape, but not the shape I need, so I pulled out the DDR mat and played it for 15 minutes on the free workout mode. I set my goal for 150 and burned 172 cals for tonight. I'm setting my goal for 250 tomorrow.

I'm pumped. I haven't felt this good in a while. One thing on my crisis plan was to try scheduling time for every activity. Since I'm currently avoiding calls for work due to my bronchitis, I need to plan my days first thing. Maybe I'll just do it in a minute. I really need to get my life in order. One thing at a time, though.

One step at a time...