Vonnieness

Now that the year is coming to a close, I have sat and pondered on this past year and all of my ups and downs.

At this time, one year ago, I was in the hospital, in labor, giving birth to my gorgeous little girl. She's so big now and such a spoiled brat. I just about cried this morning when I sang to her "Happy Birthday" while I was getting her out of her crib. I keep telling her to slow down, but I know that this just means more memories for me to keep and share with her.

I'm content with life. Not too long ago it felt as if my world had fallen apart and I was slowly picking up the peices and pasting them together. I had to work, take care of my kid, and try and figure out what to do with my life by myself. Now, I stay home, still take care of my kid, but I've returned to school and I have my old husband back.

I've become closer to my husband, and I've tried to better myself so as to better communicate with him. Yes, we still argue, and we still drive each other nuts, but it's different. Life's different. I still love him and he still loves me. We can talk things through and we know how to compromise. The stress we have is trying to provide for Lily, not trying to please each other on a regular basis. Yes, we need to make each other happy, but we also need to not bug the hell out of each other.

I've found that I'm a more reserved and spiritual person. I've been attending church every Sunday (Unitarian) and I've been attending Pagan gatherings with my community. I've begun writing again, and keeping track of my paper journal, writing about my religious views and practices as well as my problems or stresses and worries. I've also learned to just keep my big mouth shut as the whole world doesn't need to know my business.

All in all, I'm happy. I'm happier than I've ever been in a long time, and this new year is something I'm looking forward to. I am looking forward to the return of the Sun and to the return of happiness. I understand that things have a way of fixing themselves and I'm glad that things have turned out the way they have.

I hope that everyone has had wonderful holidays, whether it be Hannukah, Yule, Christmas or Kwanzaa. May many blessings reach you.