Wednesday, October 05, 2005

J and I have been talking since Monday night. It's actually been a relief to be able to discuss things in a civil manner. He's accepted the fact that he was the one at fault and many other things and has taken the proper steps on becoming a better person. He now has a certificate from Anger Management. He has finished all his counseling there.

However, as of yesterday afternoon, J is currently unemployed. The military finally discharged him and he's filing for unemployment this afternoon. We almost got into an arguement for a moment. I, being the emotional mess that I naturally am and it being worse through pregnancy hormones, panicked. He thought I was being so because then I wouldn't get any money. Once I had calmed down a bit I explained to him that I still worry about his wellbeing, and not only that, but everything that happens to him, especially financially, will effect both Lily and I. He understood, and proceeded to tell me that he did talk to TRICARE before his out-process. I will be insured throughout the pregnancy until the day after Lily is born; then I'm on my own.

I'm scared, but a lot calmer about the situation. I'm more worried about what I'm supposed to do, but all I really can do is take care of myself and my child until she's born and then go from there. I pray that I get all the necessary scholarships that I applied for so that I can not worry about tuition, and if I do, then I can easily have health care and child care services taken care of. I know my knees and head will be sore for a long while; I'll be praying like a maniac.
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