The dreaded thing happen! The one thing I thought I wouldn't do again! The one thing I promised Chris I wouldn't do! And I did it! I can't believe it!! I'm so upset with myself! I have to tell him right away! This is the letter that I've e-mailed him today...
The e-mail is below...
please read the whole thing!! --vonnie
Mon, 9 Jul 2001 01:51:14 EDT
From the get go, I just want to say that I am tremendously sorry, I had no
idea why this happened and that I love you the same as I always have. Now
remember on Saturday how I was curious to know what would happen if you found
out if you had made out w/ another guy? Well, I jynx myself.
I'm so sorry. It happened today (Sunday) at the movies with Cris Brown. Now
don't be going to church and killing him. OK? I blame myself, even though he
was the one who grabbed my face and kissed me, I still kissed back. I'm
sorry. I never wanted to do something so stupid like that!
I know you probably hate me right now...and I can't belive I even did that. I
don't know why, and I don't even know how. I'm being honest with you becuase
I don't want you to be finding this out by someone else, and I know I'm
seriously risking a shit load, just everything...but I'm sorry. I have to be
honest with you. I can never lie or keep something from you. And I never
will. You are my everything, and I just ruined it. Everything that I ever
had, I just lost for doing the most stupidest and most retarded thing I have
ever done. I let my hormones get the best of me. And it's my fault...
Don't be mad at Cris. Be mostly mad at me, b/c I don't want anything more
worse to happen. I'm in tears right now, so I am REALLY SORRY. I'm
emotionally sorry, and as a person in general...I'm a very sorry person for
doing this. I never thought I would do something like this!!
If your mad at me, like beyond pissed off, I understand. If you're going to
dump me, I seriously understand. And I just want to let you know that even
though I know your going to make my life a living hell...more than it already
is...I'll still love you and I'll still regret kissing Cris...please forgive
me...eventually. I know it will take time...
I'm sorry. Call me as soon as you get this if you want or e-mail me or
Much Love Always and Forever,
I'm still in shock from it all!!! Argh! :( I don't know what to think anymore!