Thursday, November 07, 2013

No, I Can't Take One More Step Towards You

I'm in tears.
I'm sitting in my bed, typing out my story for NaNoWriMo, and I am literally in tears.
Is it because the story sucks tremendously? No. Not that at all. I'd actually be okay with that. It's because the scene I'm writing has moved me so much I'm crying! What the fuck? you say? Yes, my thoughts exactly.

I'm in the middle of my sixth chapter, and a little behind on my personal word count goals, but I'm trucking along. However, this chapter has really gotten to me. I wrote the first two chapters without a hitch, even though they were morbid and heart-wrenching in many ways. This one, though, I don't know. My main character is upset, because she has to defend herself, and she tells the boys off by listing what she's gone through. As I type it, I can't help but feel connected to my character. How would I feel if this happened to me? I once had a husband. I *have* four kids. What if they were suddenly gone? Then it hits me, like a fucking tidal wave, and I'm sobbing so hard I can't see what I'm typing.

I'm taking a break. This shit is crazy.

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