Monday, September 16, 2013

Lost

I feel like I'm breaking, like something is missing.
I went from about 7 different medications down to 2. I just have an anti-psychotic and a sleep aid. Without any stress, my symptoms have been easily managed. I'm happy about this but at the same time, worried. I'll always have the fear of relapsing on the back of my mind. I sometimes wish this were an addiction of some sort. That would be easier for me to control. I can't say no or restrain my brain from losing it's shit. How do I do that? I know how to muddle my way through it, but I can't stop the onslaught of hallucinations assaulting all of my senses. The depression I can deal with; everything else is just terrifying.
I feel like a puzzle my kids got a hold of. All the pieces are scattered on the floor, and a few have gone missing.
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