Saturday, August 19, 2006

After much thought and discussion, the baby and I will be moving back in with J on the 29. The visit late last month had gone rather well and the both of us were able to discuss a few points. He has changed so much and grown up in a lot of ways. His mother sees it, my mother, my sister, and myself. I'm proud of him. I hope he knows that.

I will be going back to school next month working on an associate degree in business management. I have to start from scratch due to the fact that I withdrew from my previous university before I had taken my finals for that semester. Regardless, both he and I will be going to school on alternate days so that at least one parent is home with the baby.

Life has been a bit stressful. I had to go to the emergency room late June because the day I had started my menstrual cycle, I was bleeding a sanitary napkin an hour. It's unnerving when you hemmorage that much. The service was unsatisfactory, but, being as I was uninsured at the time, I have a $2,000 debt to the ER, as well as $100 for the doctor who didn't even perform the pelvic exam that I needed.

I've been visiting my therapist again. Due to my symptoms of depression, paranoia, and anxiety, she referred me to a psychiatrist for treatment. I will be back on medication, but apparently, I need to be. I seem to function better with it. Also, my joint pain has increased and I've been going to the doctor regularly. At first he thought I may have Lyme Disease, but the second run in the lab stated negative. I have no disease, no arthritis, nor an infection. He will call me later in the week to refer me to a rheumatologist. I may be twenty, but my body feels and sounds like that of a 60 year old. I've tried to stay active, but the pain is sometimes inbearable. With all these medical visits...I take so many pills now...

There are a lot of things in my head that have nothing to do with reality. I'm not happy with myself, but I'm working on it.
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