Friday, September 18, 2009

Invisible Illness Week

Stole this survey from Persues (lj user: alabastard)

1. The illnesses I live with are: Bipolar Disorder, Body Dysmorphic Disorder

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: I have a history of psychological diagnoses. It was clinical depression when I was 13 (2000), which then worsened and upgraded to Bipolar when I was 19 (2005). I had anorexia and bulemia diagnosed as Eating Disorder Unspecified or EDNOS when I was 14 (2001) and am have just recently have it under control. It was later diagnosed as Body Dysmorphic Disorder when I was 21 (2007) as my dislike for my body triggered my ED.

3. But I had symptoms since: I was around 9/10 when my being sexually abused began

4. The biggest adjustment I've had to make is: awareness of the feelings of others and the care needed for my husband and children as well as myself to keep the care ongoing

5. Most people assume: I'm delusional, self-asbsorbed, hypochondriac

6. The hardest part about mornings is: getting out of bed and focusing on what needs to be done.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: I do not watch medical TV shows

8. A gadget I couldn't live without is: My cell phone.

9. The hardest part about nights is: getting to sleep.

10. Each day I take [?] pills & vitamins. I no longer take prescribed medication for my depression.

11. Regarding alternative treatments, I: rely on physical activity (mowing the lawn, chasing the kids), herbal remedies (st. john's wort), and spiritual study and growth.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness and a visible one, I would choose:
Invisible. I do not want someone to look at me and feel pity.

13. Regarding working and career: If not controlled has caused problems in my "follow-through" and activity.

14. People would be surprised to know: -

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality is: Just trying to cope on a regular basis and slowly reprogramming self. People believe just because I have a bunch of good things going for me that my brain is happy. It's not. It has nothing to do with my surroundings anymore. It's triggered by random flashbacks and mental-wiring.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness was: love a sexual partner.

17. The commercials about my illness: -

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed: Trusting whole-heartedly; wearing whatever the hell I wanted without feeling the need to feel adored or being self-conscious that someone might see my back-fat rolls.

19. It was really hard to give up: -

20. A new hobby I've taken up since my diagnosis is: reading anything and everything about religions. learning new languages.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again, I would: Define normal.

22. My illness has taught me: that the entire world is based on perception. and unfortunately that perception was sanctioned by idiots.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say (about my illness) that
gets under my skin is: That's it's imaginary.

24. But I love it when people: Give me the benefit of the doubt.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times
is: I don't have actual words. My husband and a few close friends have helped me through my hardest emotional times. My husband helped me feel comfortable with myself. I have relapses with dysmorphia, but I'm no longer keen to hurt myself when it hits. With depression, he's always willing to hold me if necessary.

26. When someone is diagnosed I like to tell them: Keep trying to move forward. You are not your illness.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: that you can truly fight it in a way where it doesn't affect your loved ones in a negative way.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn't feeling well was: just listen and cuddle me.

29. I'm involved with Invisible Illness Week because: Awareness, awareness, awareness.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: amused. That's a lot of shit to read. LOL

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