Saturday, August 22, 2009

And on the 7th day They Rested

This week has been amazing.

Sunday, my brother and mother came by with a surprise visit and brought along with them a new dishwasher. I had been needing one for a while but they are so pricey we hadn't bought one. Plus I needed a portable, which are hard to find. My brother found a good deal on one on Best Buy.com and had messaged me saying that it would arrive one Wednesday. I had no idea they were going to bring it themselves! Not only did they hook up my new dishwasher, but they bought me a new kitchen sink faucet since the last one had broken. It works great. An entire load done in under and hour! :D Our old one took 3 hours and barely cleaned anything.

They were such a blessing. Not only did they fix my kitchen but they went out and bought a new toilet and tub handle for the downstairs bathroom as well as paid some plumber to fix that bathroom's sink. They even replaced the sink in the upstairs bathroom to a beautiful pedestal sink. Most of our family time was spent cleaning the house and fixing the majority of the crap that was broken. But I am so thankful.

My brother and I had an afternoon for ourselves. I left the girls with their abuela and he and I went to get a pedicure. We talked a lot, mostly about our past. He's been under a lot of stress and everything has just been piling up that he's been super depressed and having flashbacks. He didn't talk about them until now, and I'm glad he's finally getting all of that negativity out. He blamed himself for what happened to us as children and I told him that it wasn't his fault. I understood why, but that the person to blame was long gone and a coward. We never asked for that abuse and we were very small children, still learning right from wrong, but I don't think we'd be as strong as we are now if we hadn't dealt with it. It sucks, but it's passed and we just have to move on. I hope he knows how much I love him and how much he means to me. When we were little we were super close, closer than my sister and I.

When I was around Lily's age, I'd have a lot of bad dreams and I would crawl into my brother's bed at night and cuddle. I always knew he would be there for me to protect me from my nightmares. He would be the one to guide me back in my room when I would sleepwalk. He'd play with me and my dolls when he would rather play video games. We sat down on the couch every afternoon after school and watch Power Rangers together. After my stepdad committed suicide our relationship changed and it became strained. He was the man of the house and he was taking care of my mom and me. I was 13 then, and he was only 20. He sacrificed a lot just to make sure our family would stay in one piece.

Anyway, I think now that we've gotten all of that old hurt and frustration out in the open it will be a lot easier for us to repair the damage caused by my stepfather. I feel like a giant weight has been lifted and things will just start falling into place quicker.

Now if only my sister had been here, too, We would have had one hilarious hell of a time. I love the hell out of those two. They get on my god-damned nerves, but I love them. :)

Anyway, my family left this morning. Lily just about cried when she relized they weren't coming back but my brother reassured her that they would come and visit soon. I think we'll also be visiting them during the winter holidays. I still don't know. I want to wait until Rose is eating solids so that the car ride would be easier, and that one be until she's at least 6 months. We'll see.

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