Sunday's Itinerary.

[x] collect and discard all garbage and recycling
[x] discard broken crib
[x] dismantle broken dresser and discard
[x] dismantle shelves in girls' closet
[ ] dismantle and discard broken armoir
[ ] pack girls' clothes stored in guest room
[ ] pack girls' clothes stored in linen closet
[ ] pack shoes
[ ] wash and pack dishes

Having a bit of a break. Now on to tackle the broken armoir. *Sigh* I have a final paper that needs to be written that is due tomorrow. I hope I have time for all of this crap.

2. Going through the motions, Playing a part

So the secret I was keep was that I am pregnant. as you probably have already guessed. I still feel like crap, first trimester and all. It's taken a few weeks, but I am not starting to enjoy the idea of another little one. It was hard for me to enjoy the idea due to the fact that I am sick AND pregnant and can't do a damn thing about it, but of the terrible timing. I did pray, I prayed that if the military was not meant to be that something needed to be put in my path to change it. I was working hard, getting physically, mentally, and academically prepared. I was ready, until I spent a week with my face in a toilet being unable to keep anything down. I figured it was stress while Mary figured that I could be pregnant. I was upset. All this hard work down the drain. Granted, I did ask the powers that be that if the military was a bad decision, stop it, but I was hoping it would have come in the way of being disqualified at MEPS, not another child. The timing was just off, what with the move and the being broke and all.

Speaking of being broke, we literally have no money left. After all the bills were paid, (J took care of the mortgage and credit card while I paid the car, water, energy, and Internet) we realized that if we were to stay here just through the month of August, we wouldn't make it. All that is left is J's 401K, which I really want him to keep. Just to get us through one more month here, he'd have to cash that out. I'm so glad we are moving. Don't get me wrong, I'm seriously going to miss this house, MY house, and the friends I have made here, but I'll have a place to live, and my children will be taken care of. It may not be the ideal situation, but at least we won't be homeless and starving.

So, J is REALLY enjoying being a stay-at-home dad and has decided that it is my turn to make the money. Seeing as I have very little skill in any feild, I decided to try out something I KNOW I am good at. I am now a Pure Romance consultant. You can check my website out at yvonneames.pureromance.com I'm really excited about this job. Yes, I'm going to be selling adult literature and novelty items. Yes, that means I'm selling dildos, vibrators, and pocket-pussies, but I am awesome when it comes to explaining the benefits of good sexual health.

J and I have been together for ten years, just about. We have had an entire DECADE to experiment and learn about each other's body's. We sit and research about certain sexual activities to make sure we are both comfortable and that neither of us scared or gets hurt. The things we haven't tried, we reaserch, take polls, ask questions. I am blunt, honest, and not ashamed by sexual questions. I don't get embarrassed when asking or being asked about sexual situations, and I love to learn and help people better thei sexual experiences with a partner. I want women to feel comfortable in their bodies and with their significant others. I want them to know that you don't have to be a sexual deviant to find pleasure in using toys, and that you shouldn't be ashamed of it either. I've used a lot of their products. My friend Danita, and now my sponsor, was my consultant before I got started. I use the lotions and sprays on my children! Iris has very dry and sensitive skin and it moisterizes awesomely. I can't say enough about this company.

Anyway, things are beginning to fall into place. I'm stressed, yes, but this time it's not out of absolute terror. I'm really excited. I move in two weeks. Yes, that soon. I have my friend Meg coming over next week to help me pack, and my friend Janene offered to babysit the girls so J could help pack, too. Mary has offered her jeep to throw our donations in the back for Goodwill, and I've already talked to the trash collectors to see how much extra they would charge me for all the crap I'm going to be throwing away. I have a PR party booked with my MIL in 3 weeks already. And when I get there, I've already scheduled and appointment with my old OBGYN and filled out the paperwork for food stamps and medicaid. All I have to do now is turn it in and wait for an interview. I AM SET. I'm so ready I just want this done and over with.

Children are about to start a riot if I don't give them, as Rose puts it, their "alk" (milk).

1. Lists

1. failed my SOC101 class (FUCK) even though I tried. I REALLY DID. damn it all.
2. am on academic probation. must pass next 2 classes (ENG225: intro to film & PHI103: informal logic) to get financial aid back.
3. applied for student loans on top of pell grant.
4. registered for fall classes.
5. VA finally got it's shit together and retracted my "debt." Stupid fucks
6. am enjoying my film class. currently have a 92.
7. face is puffy, rash covered, and has sinus infection.
8. xx xxxxxxxx and feel like crap.

0.

I feel so very old today. My body aches. My heart hurts. I'm weepy, but there's not much I can do about it. My allergies are KILLING me. J and I got absolutely no sleep with all my hacking and gagging, sneezing and coughing. Nothing is working, and my throat burns.

I have a secret I want to share, but now isn't the right time to share it.